Natascha Rebecca

It's been like forever since my last post. So here are a few photos of my sister.
I got myself an early christmas gift. Canon EOS 70D and a 50mm lens, which I am in love with! Hope you guys like those pictures!

I struggle

I don’t like my body. I don’t like my looks. I don’t like my face. I am not pretty. I am not good enough. Why did God made me that way? How could a man ever want me? How could I ever be attractive to a man?

These are the the lies I told myself pretty much in my whole teenage years. These are the questions I asked myself a hundred times.

Over the last months I could feel and see that God is healing me. I feel blessed to finally say that I am ready to share my story with you guys today. Hoping to encourage all the beautiful ladies out there. This post has been on my heart ever since I started that blog. I hope to encourage you with it. 

God can turn your mess into a message. So here’s my mess:

I don’t know exactly when I started to feel unattractive and insecure. Probably when I got in my teenage years. Anyways, those feelings became a part of me. And they crept in my daily life. They were in almost everything I did. I I was insecure. I din’t feel comfortable in my body anymore. And it got worse so fast. These days a began to pray for a change. I prayed that God would change the way my body looked like. I told him what I wished for. Things didn’t change.  Months and years passed. I didn’t feel like a 18 year old girl „should feel“. I let society tell me how I should look like. I wasn’t comfortable at all with my "woman’s part“ & there was nothing I could do against that. In addition to that I  also started to feel fat, even though I secretly knew I wasn't. It just hurt me so bad that I didn’t fit in that „ideal". I prayed so hard for a change. And I began to blame God.

So many nights I found myself crying to sleep, yelling to God. With time and season who passed without a change I got angry. Like real angry.  I didn’t understand why he wouldn’t fulfill my little dream. I was like: Others are praying for world peace. (which is good, don’t get me wrong) can it be so hard for you to just fulfill my „little" dream? Can it be that hard? I spend so much strength, emotions and thoughts about this prayer for years. I secretly knew that I was praying wrong. I should have prayed for a change in my heart instead of my body. But I couldn’t. I didn’t want my heart to change. I needed a change of my body. I needed it so desperately. I cried myself to sleep because I thought I wasn’t good enough. In these times the devil hold me in his arms.  And in those moments I didn’t find the strength to stand up, to tell myself that these are all lies. In those moments I didn’t even find the strength to turn my face to my loving father, to just seek him. I believed in the devil’s lies and I proclaimed them over my life. They were a part of me. And they followed me wherever I went. Those lies were telling me how to act in different situation. They stole my self-worth and throwed them on the ocean ground. Every year when summer was coming and the girls were looking forward to buy a new bikini I hide myself in my room. Buying a bikini would always end up in a terrible experience which would lead to a week spent at home watching television while the sun was shining.  When someone wanted to go swimming with me I found a good excuse. And so on…

In the midst of these times I get to know a beautiful man. Some friends told me - and I believed it by myself -  that my situation would get better if I knew that a guy loves me for the way I look and the way I am. But in fact sometimes it felt even worse. I believed it when he said that I am beautiful. Still I didn’t feel really comfortable. I told myself that he deserved better and I asked him why he even fell in love with me a hundred times. What hurt the most was the fact that my situation hurt HIM. He prayed a lot for me. He did everything he could to make me feel better. I felt lucky to be loved by a man who doesn’t miss an occasion to tell me how much he loves me. A man who kisses me whenever he feels like it. A man who gives everything for me. And when my situation crept into my relationship with my darling boyfriend in a really negative way I finally realized that I needed a change. Not the change I was praying for all the years but a change in my heart. I needed to let go. To let GOD. So at new years eve I wrote on my new years-resolution-list: (haha, yeah I did that) „learn to accept myself“. I started to pray differently.

And what I then experienced is my little miracle:

It was a long process but I could feel, that God was working on me. I felt healing. Healing over my body, mind and soul. I slowly learned to accept my body and sometimes - on reeeeeally good days - I even embraced it. I decided to read books to build up my self-worth. (Stacy Eldredge has some good ones, ladies) I decided to think positive about myself. I started to talk about it with some close friends. As I once looked back while talking about it with my boyfriend I suddenly realized that I couldn’t even say when I felt really bad for the last time. Truth be told, there still were days when I looked in the mirror and didn’t felt beautiful at all. There still are days. But not like it used to be once. I didn’t call myself ugly anymore. I knew I was good enough. I was happy about that change. 

So a few days ago my boyfriend and I were talking about my free time and that I sometimes feel bored when he’s not around. I felt like I didn’t spend my time right. And what he then said to me hit me right in the face. „Maybe God is giving you so much time to tell you how beautiful you are.“ Oh guys, I cried. I cried hard. What I realized in that moment hurt me bad. I repeat it for you: "Maybe God is giving you so much time to tell you how beautiful you are.“  So many years I didn’t allow God to tell me that I am beautifully made. I just told HIM how I should look like. That made me feel sad. And I couldn’t help myself but crying, while hiding my face in his chest. I didn’t allow God to tell me how beautiful I am. That sounds so bad. And it is. I felt sorry. 

God calls me wanted, beautiful, enough. He created me. He is THE creator. And I, his masterpiece, told him not to call me so. 

What my boyfriend said to me that night was my kinda breakthrough. I feel free. I feel like I overcame it. I feel like a 20 years old woman. There will still be days I won’t feel comfortable and that is kinda normal. Every girl has those days and we know there will be better ones. Way better ones. But I decided to think positive about myself whenever I start to feel insecure. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14)

God made you. He created you and when he did, he looked at you and knew you were good. And you are. Good enough. You are made in the Lord’s image. How society thinks about you, your weight or looks doesn’t matter at all. What matters is how you think about yourself. Start to look at yourself how God sees you. God does not make any mistakes. You are not a mistake. Not in the way your body is formed, nor in the way you are.Your worth isn’t found in your looks or in your body. Your worth is found in Jesus Christ. Honey, you are fully complete in him. 

Like wise Matty Mullins already said: "You are special, you are loved, a perfect reflection of heaven above. God makes no mistakes, you are a miracle story!

Remember that, beauty, the next time you feel ugly, or not good enough! You are special, you are a miracle story. You are beautiful the way you are! 

Sincerely, Vanessa

making a difference

When it comes to spread the word of Christ or just talk about him in public I get a bit scared. It is on my heart that people get to know Jesus through me.I just didn't find a way that would fit for me.

With age and wisdom (phaha) I realized that sometimes you don't always have to invite non-believers to church or events like crazy. You don't always have to talk about Jesus in public. If I were a non-believer I wouldn't like it if someone would try to push me into church with a bible in the other hand. In fact I would even avoid to spend time with that person. Since I get to know non-believers who are scared by that, I don't want to be "that kinda christian".

So, I'm truly thankful that God gave me the opportunity to tell my friends about my faith without talking. (Don't get me wrong: I now enjoy talking about God in public. BUT I just don't want to push it) God made me see, that through making a difference I can tell people about his love. Making a difference - sounds easy, right? Let me explain.

I want to be a difference maker. I want to be a woman seen for her good heart. I want to be known as a servant. I want to be  a woman after God's own heart.

This isn't as easy as it was to write. Making a difference means that you have to step out from your comfort zone. You have to take time for yourself to see a change. And you need to let God take the lead. Making differences can be found in the little things like helping someone out with homework stuff. It can mean that you don't involve yourself in the gossip about the "nerd" in your class. The little things you do differently will make people think. And the big differences will make people talk. Big differences can be that you spend time helping in your church, going on a missonary trip, waiting for sex until marriage... whatever. But these are huge differences. If people see how you handle different situations you will make them think and you automatically get to spread the love of God. They'll ask you why you do it that way and which positive effects it has on your life. Maybe...maybe they'll even consider to make it the same way.

But will the differences I make even change someones heart, will I see results?
To be honest, I personally didn't see a result so far. But I could see that there were questions around and I could feel that they liked the way I think and act.

Small changes and personal commitment DO make a difference.Don't quit yet!
Ask God for wisdom. Ask him for the right differences you can make in your life. Ask for boldness.

With colossians 3:12-17 I wish you a very nice weekend. :)

So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put  on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeen you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalmsand hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.

Sincerely, Vanessa

an evening well spent

I like

- spontaneous photoshoots with this girl.

- this girl.

- discovering new photoshoot ideas.

- how these pictures turned out.

- evenings like this.

- when the pizza deliveryman still gives you the pizza, although you 

accidentally don't have enough at home.

Sincerely,  vanessa

famous in your father's eyes

Nothing is hidden from your sight. Wherever I go you find me. You know every detail of my life. When I come or go, you see it all. (Bethel Music - You know me)

Sounds like a celebrity talking about some awkward paparazzis, doesn't it? Well, better - way better - story! It is YOU talking about GOD.

I guess we all once dreamed about being a well known actor, singer or a successful athlete, didn't we? Staying on the big stage, holding an award in our hands, seeing ourselves in magazines, on TV. When you wake up, reality slaps you right in the face. You wake up and once again you're just a high school kid, student or just that other employee in the office.

BREAKING NEWS!

You ARE famous. You are famous in your father's eyes. You are called to shine. Just don't shine for your own good, but for God's sake. Shine so through you, others can see him. You are surely not called to be quiet. God gave you some wonderful talents. Share them with others. Inspire others. Let God build up his kingdom with you, through your gifts. I just dare you to not live for applause. (This is one hard thing to do.)
Stay humble!

Jesus died for you in public, don't only live for him in private.

You don't need your name in lights. You don't need to be on the cover of the next vogue magazine. You are the child of the one true king. This is the greatest award,  the greatest honor you could ever ask for.

God calls you loved. God calls you wanted. God calls you chosen. God calls you his child. 

Better than any oscar, MTV Award, Bambi or Grammy Award together.

Sincerely, Vanessa

Simona + Jonas

A few days ago I had the honor to capture the love of a beautiful, beautiful couple.
I couldn't wait to share those pictures with you. I love how they turned out! You can see their love on every single picture. It was such a pleasure taking those.

Jonas & Simona, I just love you both. So glad to know you guys. Looking forward to every future adventure and double date with you. :) Wishing you guys all the best on that journey!

year one

So, happy first birthday to us! :)

I can’t believe that it's been a year already. A year full of great memories, love, kisses and laughter. This man brings so much joy in my life. I am so thankful to share life with him. He supports and loves me for who I am. He is a heavenly gift for my human being. I always prayed for a godly man. Through Johnny I get closer to the heart of Jesus. I love that. 

So we decided to get an „couple anniversary picture“ every year from now on. I want to see us getting older together on pictures.  I can’t wait for our little kiddies to be on these photos with us. The best is yet to come! I love you Johnny. With all my heart I am in love with you. You know that, but I won’t miss an occasion telling you so. You were my first and you shall forever be my last. You are wonderful, caring, talented, smart and SO worth loving.

Dear beloved ones

You know that situation, maybe you currently are in it. Thinking of that special someone, wondering why he isn’t a part of your life yet. Spending your minutes, days and moments thinking about him. Love is one beautiful thing. There is NOTHING wrong in desiring love. I wouldn’t blame anyone for waiting on love. But still let me tell you something I learned while waiting. 

Love shows itself in many ways. You do not just find love in another person. Love can be family. Love can be friends, it can be found in different acts of kindness for the people around you. 

God is love. And when you seek him first you’ll experience the greatest, biggest and deepest love ever. God is the writer of a love story. The greatest love story ever told. 

He is writing the very best love story for you too. Just let him hold the pen. Don’t take it away from him. Otherwise you will fall in love when you are lonely, not when you are ready. You’ll waste your emotions, feelings, your heart and your body on fake relationships. Do not treat yourself like that. Show yourself some respect, lady! You are worth loving. And you are worth waiting for. I dare you to let God hold the pen. He wants to protect your heart. He only wants the best for you. And there is a perfect man waiting for you. God has a plan and he will fulfill it. It will take a little patience maybe. Still trust him. Do not lean on your own understandings of love or the ones the world has given you. God knows better.

„May the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God and into the steadfastness of Christ. 2 Thessalonians 3:5 „ 

If you place your heart in God’s hand. He will place it into the hands of a worthy person. 

My hope for you today is that you spend your time falling in love with Jesus, seeking  his heart and falling in love for who he is and what he has to offer. Pray that God may prepare your heart for that special one. Pray for patience. And don’t forget to thank him for the love he has for you. He is the best love story ever told. He wants you to experience this -  his- love every day of your life.  

Wait in love, not on love. 

Sincerely, Vanessa

Alisha Sara

I took some photos of my sister today. I like how the turned out. I love people who remind me, why I love taking photos. 

Alisha is a real beauty!

I love you, lil' sis! <3

A little longer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uUwIiBaStE

„Wait, this moment is too sweet, would you please stay here with me and love on me a little longer. I hear you say: you don’t have to do a thing, just simply be with me and let those things go `cause they can wait another minute“

How I love this song. The lyrics are so strong and it tells you a wonderful love story. I heard it a hundred times. 

Listen the whole song and let the lyrics touch your heart. 

Isn’t it true that so many different things keep us from spending a little time with God. We have to work,  there is so much going on, so much we need to do. So many little things distract us from spending some time with him. 

I love how humorously our God is.  Recently he had some really clever ways to spend time with me. If you know me, then you can tell that I love watching series like Private Practice, Castle and stuff like that. It is my little paradise when I can watch an episode before going to bed. I have to admit that I also play Candy Crush while driving home from work. This is a time where I could just seek God and thank him for another day and so on. But I don’t. I rather play another level on Candy Crush. How stupid! 

So a few days ago while traveling home after work I was about playing this stupid game. A moment before I was starting it a thought came into my mind: What if I would pray now instead? Well, I will, I thought, after a game session. (I am not even a gamer, but I don’t know about this game) So you can imagine me taking the phone, opening the app. Do you want to know what happened? It didn’t work. The app literally broke down. And I was like: Haha God, good move! I could imagine him there, popcorn in his hands, laughing at me. This would normally be the part where I would get angry and opening youtube instead. But this time I heard „the call“. And instead of being angry I felt honored.

God wants to spend time with me. I’ll repeat that for you: HE wants to spend time with you. What an honor that THE creator wants to be a part of your life. Oh and how he loves the time he has with you. 

So a few days ago I started to lay my every days in the hands of Jesus. So every morning before I go to work I now pray and thank God for a new day. I ask him to be with me. I ask for strength and wisdom while working. And I can tell you guys that THIS makes a huge difference. I highly encourage you to do the same. Just thank him for another day and pray that you may act so you honor his holy name. Start your day with God! He is the reason why you woke up this morning.

I got up early one morning and rushed right into the day. I had so much to accomplish, that I didn’t have 

time to pray. 

Problems just tumbled about me and heavier came each task. Why doesn’t God help me? I wondered. He answered, You didn’t ask.

-Anonymous

So simply be with him and let those things go, they can wait another minute just stay a little longer! Don’t forget that he who gives you time also wants to spend it with you! You are his beloved.

Sincerely, Vanessa

happy summer days

This morning with her, having coffee. Johnny Cash, when asked for his description of paradise.

I totally get that. My speech, Johnny.  I love spending time with my love. (which's name is Johnny as well) I love having him around me and the way he loves to take time for me. I am blessed beyond my wildest dreams. He is my first and he will forever be my last. I know that. He is my person and I do not know how I deserve to have him in my life. But I won't questioning it. I am grateful and the happiest girl since 3 4 1 days (cheers ;D)

I can't wait for the more to come, I can't wait to spend the rest of my days with you.

Thank you God for putting this wonderful man in my life. He brings so much joy in it.

Free evenings + time for each other = PURE HAPPINESS

Sincerely, Vanessa

Born for a purpose

This awesome girl you just heard (if you didn’t hear it now then you better should, it is worth your time) is my little sister. Needless to say that I am pretty proud. She is 14 years old and already sings better than..(this is the part I won’t mention any Hollywood Teenie-Stars I do not like very much..) She is one great lady, who has a big heart for Jesus. I can’t wait to see what God has in store for her. Obviously it has to be something with music and worship. She loves to sing and I am quiet sure that this is her purpose. Keep it up, girl!

What is your purpose?

God thoughtfully planned and designed a purpose just for you. Can you believe that? Just for you.

When God breathed life into you, he already had a purpose in mind. Maybe you know what your purpose is very clearly or you’re just figuring out what it could be. That doesn’t matter. Don’t be ashamed if you do not have a „typical“ purpose. Don’t be ashamed if it’s not your purpose to lead a worship band in your local church or if you’re not „that“ loving servant for the people around you. Maybe your talent is hidden a bit. But do not worry, you ARE talented. YOU REALLY ARE! Maybe your purpose is it to be an encourager, which is  important. Or maybe you are very creative and you can inspire people through that to live their talent. This could already be your purpose. 

There was a time I was ashamed 'cause I didn’t know what my talent was. There are people around me who can sing like Houston, dance or photograph like a Pro and I got jealous. I thought that I wasn’t that talented. And that what I had wouldn’t be enough to spread the word and his love. Today I know that this isn’t true. I am talented in different ways. Just like you are!

God made you. He made you wonderfully, with a purpose that fits you perfectly. He wants to use you and your talents to build his kingdom. And if you are willing to use your talents for him with all your heart then I am sure he will even duplicate them. 

I love that our God is so creative. He has tons of ideas. This is why no one is just as you are. How unique you are! God knows so many different ways to bail out your talents and to turn them into a purpose. Even though you maybe think that you are a mess and you can do nothing good with that. God can turn your mess into a message! How cool is that? You do not know how important your story is to someone until you tell it. 

Today I want to encourage you to thank God for your talent, to give him praise. If you’re not sure what your purpose is yet then pray. Pray that he may let you find it and use it for him.

You are his beloved daughter / son. & YOU ARE TALENTED!

Sincerely, Vanessa  

Adventure is out there

I have some days off and since I don't have enough money to go abroad we just decided to go on a trip in our beautiful homeland. Isn't it beautiful? We went hiking to a beautiful lake called Gelmersee. The route is quite dangerous but so worth to be seen! Sometimes we were just stopping and stand there in awe of the nature. We said to each other that it is simply impossible that this could have happened through a big bang. There has to be a creator. And oh, how creative he is! He made everything for its purpose and knew it was good. I love that.

It was one beautiful day. I loved spending the day outside, enjoying the nature.

Switch off your computer and go outside. Adventure is out there.

Enjoy it  and give thanks to its creator! 

Sincerely, Vanessa